Back At It Again

I’m not sure how many of you feel nervous when flying, I do. I sit on a flight from Barcelona to Amsterdam as I write and I’m all jittery inside. Jeffrey continues to remind me that a zillion flights travel everyday all around the world. But, I’m on this one and I worry. I try all sorts of rituals and reminders before and during the flight. I swallow half a Xanax before boarding, I say the Shema at takeoff and I breathe deep calming breaths many times during the flight. Once we land, I’m back in the game. I am ready for the next adventure, the next memory and the next laugh. 
This trip to Amsterdam will be our final flight as a family until our return to the USA on June 24. I packed one 50 pound duffle bag full of cold weather clothing and feel relieved that my dad and Gail took it back to Birmingham on my behalf. This gesture provides me with the bittersweet sensation slowly rising in all of us anticipating our return home. I see a subtle sadness in the eyes and of my children when we talk of our return. I see a slight sparkle in the eyes of my children when we talk about our return. I understand and recognize these exact sensations in myself. I’m not ready to let go, yet I have visions of kissing the American soil and visions of devouring a Buddy’s Pizza. Here we go, the Kaftan 5 on the next experience of our life, of our path, of the up and down roller coaster we all ride together. Sometimes in the sky, yet all the times together.